I am resigning

I am resigning from my current well-paid-and-sophisticated job unto unemployment and i know my life is about to begin.

I submited my resignation letter on July 6, and it elated me. But it’s only after 4 weeks that it finally sinks in:

I am resigning.

I’ve been dancing under the shower of happiness from the certainty of leaving this job I never love.

I do want to leave off applying for 8-to-5 job until at least 3 months from now. During that time I want to be a full time dancer and also start learning to cook in order to work my way toward my dream of owning a restaurant. These are my absolute reason for resigning.

It was only few minutes ago that I actually realized that resigning means I will have all the time in the world to myself. My ignorance is bizzare, I know, especially since my concerned boyfriend have been telling me zillion times to figure out what exactly I want to do past this job.

I’ve known before that I will have nothing to do, and that meaning I will be able to do the things that I love. That has filled my mind with the idea of dancing, cooking, taking english or other language course. All of which doesn’t immediately replace my job’s function as money generator.

But I had an idea about getting income. That include trying to find dance gigs, trying to find translation jobs, trying to cook/bake and sell it, finding jobs at odesk.com and helping my friend’s wedding organizer and hoping that there will be a lot of job to give. All of which are very vague and it wasn’t even until I write them here that I realize how vague my plan has been. Again, my ignorance, it’s bizzare, I know.

The last 6 years have been a series of ignoring the process of planning for the future.

After a busy 4 years in my campus,I went to work in my crazy office in which I have experienced birthdays, Christmases, and other holidays that were hardly planned. Those 6 years I’ve let life leads me to places, yet I didn’t control it. Heck, even the last 12 years was not truly in my control. All major choices that I made was the easy ones; including choosing junior high school, high school, college and first job. All of those choises were made by me, yet I did not seek for them. They came to me. This decision to resign was the first major decision I’ve  ever made because I seek for it.

So I decided, since I also didn’t get to write a lot during the last years, I will start writing my plan and this will become my journal.

And I cannot be more anxious, excited and scared..because my life is about to begin.